I think it’s time I start blogging regularly again. I write all the time in some form or another, but my favorite type of writing is blogging here on my personal site where I don’t have any rules, editors, any topics forced upon me, and most importantly, no analytics driving my decision making. Outside of journaling, this place is as close as I get to a “stream of consciousness,” and I have always loved sharing my thoughts with the people who want to read them. So here I am, reminded of who I used to be, thinking about how everything changed for me 4 years ago today.
Although things were changing at an incredibly rapid pace, March 13, 2020, was the first time it truly hit me. We had all seen the news. We were wiping our packages down, washing our hands every time we touched something, and going through bottles of hand sanitizer at an alarming rate. It was weird, but when we walked into our local Trader Joe’s on Santa Monica Boulevard and found nearly empty shelves everywhere we turned, everything became so much more real. Before that, the stories on the news weren’t quite tangible. We had stocked up on the usual necessities and didn’t need to go fight people for toilet paper. We masked up and kept our distance, thankful to be in one of the most beautiful places in the world, West Hollywood.
It feels like a lifetime ago. Honestly, it kind of feels like multiple lifetimes ago. We had just gotten our new pup, Mika, not even a month before. She kept us busy and distracted in the best ways possible.
Without knowing what the world would go through in the coming years, I welcomed the idea of slowing down. I think many people did. What I don’t think I realized is just how much the pandemic took a toll on me. It’s not something I want to get into today, but I just wanted to put down some thoughts here. I want to send my regards to everyone who lost loved ones and to those who lost relationships over frivolous things. I also want to send love to everyone who made it through, only to be faced with equally stressful wars, economic challenges, and so many other shitty things that are still playing out.
It’s been a difficult few years and I somehow feel like I haven’t found myself since this day in 2020. It’s okay if you feel the same. I’m gonna keep trying to find the me I used to know and love. I hope you do the same.
