How do you know when something is over? Is it because another thing has started and taken its place? Do you wait for closure? If you don’t have it to you carry the uncertainty with you into whatever is next?
We’ll never have all the answers to the questions we inevitably want answers for. I think it’s something that can be related to “young” love. When you’re just starting out in “the real world,” sometime in your teens to early twenties, oftentimes you’re seeking validation from your relationships to help you find confidence in being yourself. As you get older, at least for me, you stop caring about any validation from anyone outside your closest circle.
I find it weird that we’re not taught these things in traditional schooling. So many people I have encountered in my life, are still so focused on finding validation (attention, love, etc.) from anywhere they can. The lack of understanding leads to chaos in their relationships, communication, and I assume, life in general.
“Hearts and thoughts will fade away…” (Pearl Jam’s Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town) is playing on my HomePod right now, how appropriate. The people that never learn to talk through their feelings, end up making life difficult for everyone. You know the saying, “Hurt people, hurt people.” Processing and learning to understand your own emotions, feelings, and shortcomings takes courage and anyone who does so is a hero. It’s more than just romantic relationships, work relationships, or family dynamics, though.
As I’m trying to process all of the change happening in my life right now, I’ve been seeking advice from those I trust to give me unfiltered feedback. Today, someone brought up “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” After looking to see where the quote originated, it turns out that it came from the late Fred Rogers, aka Mr. Rogers. That led to the place I am now, wondering why as a country, or even as a society, we haven’t done more to help people understand themselves and the reasoning behind their feelings, reactions, and challenges with others.
I know I am rambling at this point, but in short, if more people took the things that Mr Rogers said to heart, or we somehow used his words as curriculum in schools, we’d probably live in a much better world. If people weren’t trying to hold onto some past relationship or form of validation, the world could progress at an incredible speed. By not letting go of their fear, they ultimately cause more pain for the people they seek validation from and countless innocent bystanders along the way.
I hope if you are reading this, you find the confidence to be comfortable as you are and allow yourself the chance to love yourself enough to not seek out the validation from others. I hope you let go of the uncertainty and unanswered questions that life throws at you. I hope you let go of the past, for your sake, and for the sake of the people you meet along the way.
✌️+ ❤️ + 🌯